Whether we know it or not, every day we go through our lives living in our comfort zones. The only way we are able to get out of our comfort zones is by wanting something so much that a change has to be made within us.
The only problem with changes, however, is that it usually involves a degree of fear – an emotional state that doesn’t really feel good and can at times, paralyze the body to doing anything. This usually happens when we are afraid of an outcome of something.
For example, if you wanted to tell your spouse about something you’ve wanted to say for a long time but have kept quiet, you might fear what their reaction will be. If you want to tell your boss about giving you a raise, you might fear what will happen to the relationship between you guys after you ask him or her. If you want to go out in public and meet somebody new, you might fear someone rejecting you and putting you down.
These are all legitimate reasons to fear a change in our daily actions. So what do most people do? Nothing. Most people would rather stay in their comfort zones and start making up excuses that help them cope with why they are not changing. And as a result, they stick to their old habits and subconsciously make them feel miserable everyday!
Well it’s time to conquer our fears because not only do we want to get rid of the feeling of being stuck, but we also don’t want to limit ourselves from doing, being, or having the things we want and desire in life due to some artificial feeling created in our minds.
I believe that everybody has fear, including me. I’ve been through moments I was afraid to ask someone out, but ended up doing it anyway and ended up in one of the best relationships I’ve ever had. I’m also been afraid to ask someone for change in public bus, but did it anyway, and got the coldest shoulder and a meanest face from someone that still gives me the chills thinking about it today.
Everybody has fears, but the key is to go through it anyway. Even people who may seem “fearless” to us have experienced fear before they became “fearless”. They were not always this brave and bold before; they just have learned how to overcome their fear as a change was required for them to do want they wanted to do.
So how does one get to a point where he or she fears change, but has the ability to do it anyway? How do we handle change?
The answer lies in the question. It is to be able to handle change internally. I believe that if you can experience fear by yourself, in your mind, going through the entire process from start to finish, and feel every degree of emotion in your body and be okay with it, there will be nothing to fear as much.
Of course, fear will still be there when you do the real thing, but with mental rehearsal or preparation, you’ll be a lot better equipped and emotional stable to face fear when the real thing happens. If fact, the fear might even turn to excitement.
Fear to me, isn’t really the process of doing it, it is the emotion we get before doing it. It has been stated that the mind cannot distinguish between what is being presented in the physical world and what is being in the mind. Thus, if you can handle fear before the action takes place, you’ll be able to handle fear a lot more likely when the action does take place.
You can think of it as an actor or a singer or a speaker or any other type of person that performs on stage going through fear before they perform in front of hundreds of thousands of people. What helps them prepare for fear is the ability to mentally rehearse over and over again so they have already gone through that experience before heading up on that stage. Then by doing it will the fear go away entirely.
Is your life fear considered something as dramatic as acting, singer, or speaking in front of hundreds of thousands people? Perhaps not, as most of us go through a more down-to-earth lifestyle where we don’t have that moment where we have to perform in front of hundreds of people. But we sure make it that way by constantly manifesting negative thoughts inside our heads which produce unhealthy, anxious feelings. If we can only handle whatever happens, then there will be nothing to fear!
Right now, if you are fearing change, whatever this may be, part of it is learning how to accept it and handle it. The only reason one fears fear is because they can’t handle or deal with their future situation. If you can handle it, the fear will go away faster.
The second thing is just being able to prepare. This means visualizing the entire experience by going through it and feeling all the emotions you will encounter through the process of the experience. If you can handle that then, fear will decrease dramatically. You may even feel excitement. Then when you go out and do it then the fear will go away completely.
Most people fear a tremendous amount of fear because they simply don’t know what to do! Know what to do and things will become a lot easier.
In conclusion, fear will never go away whenever a change happens. But if you want something, sometimes change is required and that means fear will be there. But if you can handle anything that comes at your way or at the very least, prepare for it, then you’ll find out that fear isn’t really something to fear at all. Instead, after doing what it is that you want, you’ll feel a sense of relief, accomplishment, and satisfaction.