There comes a point in our lives where we are not getting the results that we want, whether it is getting better grades in school, losing more weight, or making more money. We see other people succeed and it seems to stay that way. It seems like no matter what we do or what we try, we just can’t seem to get there. What’s the secret behind successful people?
It comes down to how hungry people are and how much they are willing to sacrifice in order to get something that they’re truly passionate about. If you have ever felt something that’s stopping you from achieving your goal, here are some questions you may consider asking yourself.
1. What’s at stake?
The first one is what’s at stake? In fact, in whatever goal you are trying to achieve, is there anything at stake at all? I used to be in playwriting class and one of the most important concepts our teacher taught us between a good play and a bad play was how high the stakes were. What was the stake of the character that we identified ourselves with? A play with low stakes didn’t add any sense of urgency to the character’s motives; thus causing the play to be bland and boring.
A play with high stakes, however, made the audience come alive and on the edge of their seats. Whether the character was going to lose someone special if they didn’t get what they wanted or perhaps their entire reputation of a character would be ruined at the blink of an eye, these were all contributing factors to a character with urgent needs to get what they wanted.
Is there anything at stake for you right now? Is there anything dramatic that will happen if you don’t get what you want?
This brings us to the next question…
2. Were you ever up against the wall at some point in your life?
Whether it is millionaires or billionaires, if you delve deeply into any person who has self made it to becoming financially free and to be able to influence thousands of people worldwide, you will find out that at one point in their lives, their backs were up against the wall. They had no choice but to succeed and it was just a matter of telling themselves, “No more of this life. I will do anything from this point on to succeed.”
Tony Robbins wasn’t always that enthusiastic person you see on TV. In his early life, he was extremely unhappy and thirty pounds overweight. His first job was a janitor, living in a 400 square-foot bachelor apartment and washing his dishes in the bathtub. It was during this time that he wanted to do more and be more. He went to becoming a world known speaker and peak motivator, even being worth as much as 400 million dollars in one day.
Oprah Winfrey lived in poverty during most of her childhood life. She had to wear clothes, sometimes made out of potato sacks and go through being made fun of by other kids at school. At an early age, she was molested and was raped at the age of 9. She ran away at the age of 13, became pregnant at the age of 14, and her baby died shortly after it was born. Her back was really up against the wall during these times, and she made a decision to be the best that she could be from that point forward. She went on to become a television host and producer, actress, author, at one point the world’s only black billionaire.
Sometimes, people have to hit rock bottom, before they have hit a reality that things need to change. Have you ever had your back up against the wall at sometime?
This brings us to the next question…
3. What are your feelings on competition?
Some people let competition stop them. Others let competition drive them. People get that same sense of urgency when they know there are other people who are working against them for the same spot. This is what makes them work harder.
We are in a competitive world right now and people need to realize that if we don’t want something bad enough, someone else will end up taking it away from us.
For example, if you ever read Donald Trumps’ and Robert Kiyosaki’s book, Why We Want You To Be Rich, there is a chapter in which Robert describes for a whole season, he did not get to play on his football team; he just sat on the benches frustrated. He wondered why since he was doing everything the other guy (Jesse) did, but the coach never put him in. One day the assistant coach came up to him and asked him:
“Do you know why the coach isn’t playing you?”
“No,” I said. “I don’t know. I do all the right things. I show up for practice. I run extra laps. I’m as good as Jesse.”
“Yes. That’s true,” said Mr. Clark. You also have more talent and speed than Jesse.”
“So why does he play?” I asked. “Why not play me?”
“Because Jesse has more heart. Jesse wants the position more than you. In life, talent is not enough. If you want a starting position you need to take yourself to whole new level. You have the body, but you lack the spirit” (Trump, Kiyosaki, McIver, Lechter 199).
Jesse had more heart than Robert; he wanted it more, and even if he less talent than Robert, he was the one that ended up starting.
The point is, if you go around the world believing that you are entitled to what you want, think again. Sometimes we feel too comfortable in our own skin and we become soft. The truth is, for every person that goes through the day not working, there are probably hundreds of other people working their butts off just to get that same spot, just like the spot Robert wanted.
These three things bring us to the next question…
4. How do you deal with fear?
From what’s at stake to competition, these are all things that instill fear in us. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. There are two people in the world: one that lets fear stop them from achieving what they want and one that lets fear drive them like no other.
Fear can paralyze people or it can be a catalyst to get people moving. Fear is one of the biggest emotions there are, and some people may argue that it can cause one to become more productive. Tony Robbins didn’t want to live life becoming a janitor, Oprah Winfrey didn’t want other people to live life with the scars she had faced, and Robert Kiyosaki did everything he could to put his heart into playing, which he ended up doing.
These people had deep reasons to why they wanted to succeed. They had things at stake. They had their backs walls up against the walls. And they let did not fear competition. Their why’s were bigger than the person next to them, the person who is complaining to their friends about why they never get what they want.
How do you deal with fear? Do you let it stop you, or do you let it drive you?
This brings us to the last question…
5. What is your why?
What is your why? If you don’t know, here’s an activity that you can do to push yourself and make you hungrier. Take a moment to sit down quietly and find out why it is you do what you do?
Think about all the reasons (there could be a hundred), and when you’re done, circle the reasons that really give you that deep sense of urgency to take action. It might be to be buy a new toy that you want or it might be something else; but you will know when you can identify this reason with something that really touches your heart.
Maybe you don’t have a strong enough “why” yet. If not, you might have to imagine something up even if it sounds silly. Our subconscious mind will believe what you make it to believe, so it doesn’t matter what your why is, as long as it motivates you whenever you think about it. When you are done doing this activity, start conditioning your mind that you will be able to achieve this goal because of special why you have. This will get you to take more action towards getting what you want.
In conclusion, you don’t have to be against the wall in order to achieve something, but you have to be hungry for what you want in life. People who went from bottom to top burned all bridges behind them. They didn’t do it because that wanted to. They did that had to; there was no other way.