Complaining happens when we are dissatisfied with a current situation. It can be anything that sets us off such as getting cut in line or not getting the job we interviewed for. Expressing negative self-talk is a way of coping a situation that we don’t like, but it usually fails to address the real problem, which is finding a solution and moving on from it.
People unconsciously complain because it makes them feel good at times. If more people were aware that they were complaining, then they would make a better choice to not feel that way. The truth is complaining often makes us feel good inside when we develop a habit of complaining, especially when it draws negative attention to us. But not only does it leave a negative atmosphere, but it leaves an unhealthy way of living.
The truth is when people complain a lot, they develop a habit of complaining about more things later on. They turn trivial matters into big things. This is called drama. Drama feeds the ego. It may feel “somewhat” better by complaining, letting it out, or even getting some attention from others, but in the end, it’s just drama, and drama is counterproductive to living in peace.
Complaints can come in statements or they can come in questions. Statements are more direct such as:
- This food is pretty nasty.
- This weather is so gloomy today.
- This weather is too hot for me.
- Stupid car just cut me off.
- My classes are so boring.
- My job sucks.
- I wish I looked like her.
- I wish I was thirty pounds lighter.
- I wish I didn’t have to work.
- I hate my life.
Questions cause us to think about the situation and dig deeper into emotional turmoil.
- Why doesn’t she like me?
- Why doesn’t he like me?
- Why doesn’t anyone love me?
- Why can’t I have more money?
- Why do I have to live here?
- Why is my roommate so rude?
- Why is he so ignorant?
- Why is she so stubborn?
- Why do my parents argue so much?
- Why does the economy have to be so bad?
Maybe deep inside, we go through life complaining about some of the things listed above. No one is perfect, but limit complaining is the one first steps to living a way more stress-free life. Additionally, here are thirteen reasons why we should reconsider complaining next time we feel like doing it.
1. Complaining isn’t going to solve the situation.
When we complain, we’re not looking for a solution; we’re dwelling on the problem. The problem isn’t going to go away by blaming the problem. It’s going to stay there until we take proper action to solve it. This takes guts.
2. Complaining feeds on itself.
When we start to complain, we get used to it. We expect to complain the next time something small bothers us. It just gets worse and worse as it goes on until it becomes an addiction.
3. Complaining turns others off – big time.
Have you ever been with out with a group of friends and there’s always that person who’s complaining about their crummy roommate, their horrible job, and their lack of relationship? It just brings the whole mood down, even though people don’t want to say anything mean to that person.
4. Complaining is infectious.
If you’ve ever been in a group of people (not just one), who complain about their lives, you start to reflect on your own life and tell yourself that it isn’t that great either. You start becoming a victim of complaining without even being aware of it. When you complain, you also attract other complainers to you. Soon you guys are competing with each other about who has it the worse.
5. Complaining kills innovation.
Imaging being at a business meeting and everybody is complaining about their work. If there’s no hope, why even begin to create or introduce something new and different?
6. Complaining makes us passive.
We end up being “paralyzed” in our thoughts when we complain. Nothing is really going on outside even though on the inside it may seem like a hurricane. The world is moving while we are standing still.
7. Complaining causes inner anger.
Holding anger in ourselves is a miserable way to live life. It always feels like something is burning inside, and we want to feed the fire by blaming others and being right.
8. Complaining leads to a bad day.
When we complain about something, and hold our thoughts onto it, we associate our negative feelings towards other people and our own actions. This can result in a chain reaction to making worse things happen later.
9. Complaining makes the situation worse than it really is.
When we focus on complaining, we focus on only the negative, and become oblivious to the positive. Even when everything seems to be positive on the outside, we won’t be able to see it.
10. Complaining makes us selfish.
We have to realize that we are not the center of the universe. It may only seem like this because we are looking at our own pain through our own eyes. Realize that there are almost seven billion people out there and more half of them are in really horrible conditions.
11. Complaining makes us less humble.
We forget small things in life when we get into a loophole of complaints. It’s nice to be able to have clothes over our backs, to be able to drink clean water, to be able to have shelter over our heads, and to be alive and breathing.
12. Complaining is immature.
Kids complain often because they don’t get what they want. Adults because they don’t get what they want either, expect the “toys’ are just more expensive when they grow up.
13. Complaining means avoiding the present moment.
They are good for escaping what we do not like to face. Only when we have accepted the situation, then can we do something to move on from it.
Don’t fall in the trap of complaining. Allow the situation to happen. Let it be. When there is a problem or you are faced with something you don’t like, do something about it. Complaining is not going to help. Be grateful to have what you have and have an optimistic view about things. When everybody else is complaining about how bad life is, you will be the one to rise above that and move on.